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  • Writer's pictureJ C Thomas

Loving Yourself

Updated: Mar 28, 2019

"Honoring yourself is one major core characteristic of Love. Honoring means, putting yourself above everything else". - Natasha McCrea.



How does one begin to love themselves? What does it look and feel like?


This is one woman's journey to self-love.

She had no idea what she was worth. She had spent her entire life thinking no one loved her because she was insignificant. She was not particularly beautiful, nor was she the most intelligent one in her circle of friends and family. She was not outgoing or very sociable so she didn’t have many friends and that made her feel inferior. Why could she not just strike up a conversation with a stranger? Why did it seem that she never had anything meaningful or relevant to say? She had accepted the fact that she would always be living like a fly on the wall- watching life go by but unable to actually participate in the game.


For this reason, she went through decades of unhappiness and struggled to find inner peace. There was always the voice of doubt and shame reminding her that she was different from “regular” people and she did not deserve to prosper in love on any level. There was no one who actually knew her true heart and she was too afraid to express her truth so the world could see it. Fear and anxiety kept her trapped inside a self-made shell thinking if she stayed inside, she would never get hurt. What a terrible way to live…in fear.


On the outside it didn’t look so bad. She could play the role of a happy person and act like her life was fulfilled but there was no real joy in her heart. It felt empty…like it was all a lie and when she finally broke free from that shell, all the colors in the world came to life! It was not an easy journey but it was so worth it. I’ll tell how she did it and how you can do it, too.


First of all, let’s agree that finding true self- love can be a challenge. So many things in this world threaten to take our joy away on a daily basis. In a world where we can stay glued to screens of all sizes wherever we go and we can go for hours or even days without really interacting with other people, it’s easy to get lost inside of our own personal bubbles. You have to make the conscious decision that enough is enough. Start using social media to interact with friends on a personal level. Comment sincerely on things that inspire and move you. Retweet things that you love. This will organically build bridges and strengthen relationships. Look for events in your area that interest you and decide to attend one event a month. Then decide to talk to at least one person you don’t know at each event, even if it’s just for a moment. When you feel more confident in yourself, you begin to see the world a little differently. The dark colors suddenly lighten up and you want to get out and experience even more!


Also, decide to take care of yourself in small ways. Every time you get paid, buy yourself a small treat- something that will make you smile. Maybe that’s a new shade of lip gloss or a small bottle of the greatest smelling lotion you can keep in your purse. Any small thing that is just for you can make you feel brand new! Change something about your hair or nails. You’d be surprised how much your confidence gets boosted by a small change in how you look. Maybe you’ll discover something beautiful you didn’t know about yourself and that’s exciting!


If you’re at a point where you feel helpless or hopeless reach out to one person you can trust and let them know how you’re feeling. Sometimes it helps to know someone else is there to listen and offer advice if you want them to do so. Getting those feelings off your chest is a huge step towards healing. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone, and that’s fine. Journaling is just as effective. The point is to get the overwhelming feelings out of you somehow. I used to journal and then immediately tear up the pages and throw them away. That released a lot of sadness from my heart. It symbolized a fresh start for me. Sometimes all we need is a fresh start.


All of these methods contribute to a healthy and happy mindset which will open the floodgates of self-love. Remember, it’s not a sprint. It’s a journey and happiness is the road to get there. Small things add up in the long run so don’t beat yourself up for not “getting it right” immediately. We’re all in this together. I’m cheering for your success! Be well and love on yourself today...and every day!

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